nightmares
by Sarahmouse
Summary: Loki always had nightmares even as a young child there rarely was a time when he slept through the night. Of course they would continue after he had attacked Midgard.


Loki always had nightmares even as a young child there rarely was a time when he slept through the night. In time he managed to learn how to wake up nearly every night without a sound. He would flinch himself to wakefulness. He would stare at nothing till his speeding heart was able to return to a normal pace. Even long after the nightmare was over Loki would be unable to move.

"Sir, it seems as if Loki is in distress."

"Don't care, Jarv."

"I believe you, or someone, should check on him. His heart rate is increasing to a concerning pace, shaking increasing as well, and he is sweating profusely. I believe if he doesn't wake up soon then his shaking will cause injury to himself and from what I was lead to believe that is an unacceptable outcome."

Tony put his glass of scotch on the table and stood up. He shuffled over to the elevator, pressed the down button, and soon enough he was below ground making his way to the room where they had agreed to keep Loki for the night. He knocked on the door wondering if that would be enough to wake the god.  
If anything the knocking must have made things worse for Loki. Tony heard a singular scream which only lasted a second or two and cut off abruptly. He typed in the key code and pushed the door too hard in his haste to find out what was happening. The door swung open and the sound of it hitting the wall seemed to ring throughout the room.

Loki had fallen out of the narrow bed at some point in the night and he was tied up in the thin blanket he had been given. He wasn't asleep anymore but he was certainly still panicking, shaking. He kept opening and closing his mouth as if he had something to say but kept second guessing himself.

"At least you're awake. Makes my life a bit easier." Tony walked over and couched next to the god. He placed his hands on Loki's shoulders and had him sitting up in one hurried motion.

Loki yelped at the touch but he didn't fight back, he might have been too tangled in the blankets to even make an attempt. If anything Loki just shook a bit more than he had been before. He sat there wide eyed.

Tony sat down to be more comfortable and watched as Loki curled in on himself. "What the hell, Reindeer Games. I get it. You had a nightmare. Probably a real bad one but I'm not...stop, just stop acting like I'm going to attack you. In case you hadn't noticed we already won, you lost, I don't need to do whatever it is you think I'm here to do. What do you even think I'm going to do?"

It was a while before Loki answered. It was probably only a couple of minutes but it had been long enough for Tony to think that he wasn't going to get any response.

Loki met Tony's eyes for a brief moment. His answer practically a whisper but at least it was one, "You'll skin me alive or burn the flesh from my bones. Leave me here in the dark till I come to think that the light is once more a lie." Loki stopped shaking. "It's what always happens and if it's not you then it will be someone else."

"That-"

Loki put a finger to his lips, "Shhh." A smile tugged at his lips but he didn't let it win. Lowering his finger he said, "Go on. I know you must want to." He started untangling himself from the blanket. "Thor will be back soon. He always is. He'll take me and you'll have missed your chance." He only seemed to get more tangled in the blanket that seemed larger now than it had when it had been given to him. "Make me long for something as sweet as pain."  
Tony stood up and walked out of the room without a word. He closed the door and leaned back on it as if that would change what Loki had been saying.

"Jarvis…"

"Yes, sir."

"Never mind."

Tony walked away. He went back up to his bedroom, drank one more drink, and eventually managed to catch a few hours of sleep. He never told anyone that Loki's eyes had been green after his nightmare but blue when Thor took him back to Asgard. He never told anyone of Loki's nightmare, how desperate he had looked. Instead he managed to halfway forget what had happened.

Loki longed for something as sweet as pain. He longed for the nightmares to end. He never got close to halfway forgetting. "Shhhh." A smile tugged on his lips and now it almost always won. "He'll come back. He always comes back." His eyes flickered from blue to green time and time again. Loki wished that someone would finally notice the change but he knew that they would always notice to late to change anything. "You missed your chance."


End file.
